dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Randomize
