Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
