butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Randomize
