Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
