That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize
