you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Randomize
