the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Blood and glitter go together right?
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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