I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
