Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
