My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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