i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Randomize
