I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
