it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
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