White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
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