Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
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