MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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