Your tits are I can't wait for
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize
