whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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