fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
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