I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
