She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
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