I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Randomize
