Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Sorry about my life...
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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