So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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