STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Randomize
