I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Randomize
