I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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