i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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