Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize
