he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
