And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Randomize
