isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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