I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
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