Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
