Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Randomize
