so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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