I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Randomize
