idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
He is an equal opportunity slut.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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