It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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