i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
