Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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