sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
