just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
I feel great
I just peed on a car
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
