people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
