sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize