So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
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