a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Randomize
