whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
