it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
