Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
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