she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
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