Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Randomize
