Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
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